Sub being preparedI will do a series of posts in an effort to break down the basics of a BDSM scene. These posts will reflect the dominant role in a BDSM scene and how the scene is constructed around that role.

The first part of a scene is the preparation.

One step that is usually mentioned is boundary discussion. That is usually a free flowing discussion outside the play about what both parties likes and dislikes. Some subs don’t like whipping and then that should be considered to be a limit. 

Limits can be a hard limit or a soft limit. A hard limit is something you do not cross, with emphasis on the word never. An example on a hard limit that I have as a dominant is body mutilation – Exercises that lead up to permanent damage are not for me.

A soft limit is something you don’t like at the moment but that might change as the exercises progress. You are often open-minded about them.

You should always ask the sub what he or she is looking for in the training exercises, do they want to enhance their posture, focus etc. That gives you a foundation for the upcoming training.

As a dominant you take notes and remember the established limits. Always inform the sub on how you usually choose to punish disobedient subs in order to validate that the sub can take a cane or a whipping if that is your preferred method of punishment. This might also be what the sub is looking for as it is something that might get them aroused, so punishment in this case isn’t necessarily something negative.

The preparation is a very important part as it sets the scene itself and the preparation for a scene can go on for weeks. One thing that I do early on in the process is to set up training goals. One goal could be to learn my submissive to be quiet when it is necessary. That goal can be achieved through physical tools such as a ball gag, but it can also be trained in everyday life through mental tests and exercises.

I usually create tests, and my sub is not always aware of the fact that it is a test, that she can be successful in or fail. Failing might be a necessary step in order to understand what you are not so good at and sometimes the test have an easy success factor as a foundation for praise.

The performance during these tests affects the training exercises. If my sub can’t manage to be quite due to the fact that she is easily distracted, then an exercise that is sharpening her focus might be in place.

These are some of the most important parts of the preparations themselves and I will write about the next step in my next post.


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