Coming out as a BDSM practitioner
How do you come out to people that you care about, how do you tell them you are into BDSM?

Being Freaky means many things to different people, mostly things in the derogatory domain. To me it is a positive thing to be freaky, it means that I am myself and not like everyone else. To be freaky means to do your own thing, be comfortable about it and be confident enough to do what you want and not just what is deemed as socially acceptable.

My experience is that as long as you do your thing with integrity and a glow which shows that you believe in yourself then you are less prone to be the target of prejudice and glaring eyes.

I’ve always been open, for those who are interested, about my sexuality and my deep interest in BDSM. To me a D/s-relationship is a necessity, something that I need in order to be the best I can be to my partner. Looking at the long-term perspective, I will not function very well in what is considered to be a normal relationship as power struggles is not my cup of tea.

I cannot keep that as a secret to people around me, it would be like hiding my core. I will not flaunt it in front of people, but people who I choose to have a close relationships with will sooner or later feel that there is something that is different. This is one of the biggest reasons why I tell people what I am into and basically who I am. It is a question of integrity and honesty. Secrets have a tendency to give other people power over you and that is why I have made a choice to not keep any secrets.

In the end it is all a matter of how, why and when you choose to show to people who you are.

BDSM is tricky to explain as people have a lot preconceived ideas based on violence and abusive relationships but this can be worked against by referring to the care and trust which are necessary ingredients in a healthy BDSM relationship. How people perceive BDSM is also dependent on how secure you are when you tell them about it, the more insecure you seem the more they will question you.

Coming out as a BDSM practitioner or as someone who needs a D/s-relationship to be whole as a human being is never something that is easy in the end.

The easiest thing to start with is to be proud of who you are and the fact that you enjoy BDSM as an important part of your life, so straighten your back and keep your head high and take a serious look at yourself in the mirror and repeat these words:

I am into BDSM and I am proud of the fact that I allow myself to be who I want to be. I am proud that I have the courage to go on an intense journey which will show who I really am.

I am proud of being a normal BDSM practitioner.