As I was riding the morning train to work today I observed a really interesting thing that made me think about mind play in particular.

Next to me was two guys, about 17-19 years old and apparently good friends. They where chatting about basically everything when the following conversation took place:

Guy 1:  – “Do you know who Che Guevara was?”

Guy 2: – “Wasn’t it a guy…..” (Sounding really hesitant)

Guy 1: – “No…”

Guy 2: – “It wasn’t?” (Even more hesitant)

Guy 1: – “Nope”

(The conversation halts for a while as guy 2 is thinking)

Guy 2: – “Who was it then?”

Guy 1: – “It was this guy…” (smiling at the other guy 2)

Guy 2: – “But I told you it was this guy….!?” (A bit frustrated and confused)

Guy 1: – “Yes, you did….But you hesitated”


The scene that was unfolding itself next to me made me laugh inside as I saw a lot of similarities between this and a conversation that could have happened between me and my submissive.

I don’t know the level of enjoyment the two guys had in this particular situation, but Guy 2, who was the “victim” smiled and then Guy 1 smiled with him. This confirmed that they both got something out of the thing that went down – And the thing that really happened was mind play.

Mind play is an important part of our relationships, we mind play each other in order to show that we still care or still have interest in the other one. It’s a psychological confirmation protocol for a lot of things. We play practical jokes on our close friends, we give friends fake lottery tickets to make them believe that they have won a bundle of money – For the fun of it, but also to confirm that our relationship is so strong that it can withstand some friendly mind play. It might not give the same endorphin rush as a BDSM mind play, but the mechanisms are the same.

I mind play my sub because that tells her that I care to give her attention through the mind play itself. It also gives me a rush as I feel that I am in control of the situation – I makes me feel that I “own” the situation. Mind play can be done in many ways of course – The guys on the train did a simple and easy accessible mind play, in BDSM you might strive for more elaborate mind play schemes.

Sometimes people are more into BDSM than they think, as this example clearly shows.


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