What is this all about?

It took me about 30 years to realise that I am a dominant. The first question is: Why did it take so long?To be honest, I don’t know – I really don’t know.

One reason could be that BDSM is still a hidden part of society. I would actually say that it is more taboo than openly admit to being gay. People, in most cases accept a work colleague or a friend coming out and, telling everyone that they are gay. Still there is some stigma connected to that as well, and there is stigma connected to admitting that you are into BDSM.

Telling your friends that you are into BDSM and a dominant might not be the easiest task, as the question about how they will perceive you is filling up your thoughts. Will you loose your job if you tell anyone at your workplace that you are into BDSM, will your parents stop inviting you to birthday parties and family gatherings?

This calls for some really good judgement, and if that serves you well then you might get some curious questions back – Rather than judgemental opinions.

Is there another solution to this delicate problem of making people understand what you are into and why – Is there a safe way for them to get some sort of insight into BDSM? My answer is Second Life. At the moment, Second Life has a flourishing BDSM community. Some people only do BDSM in Second Life and other people do it both in Real Life and in Second Life – I myself do both.

What is the purpose of doing BDSM in Second Life is it even feasible? Of course it is – Second Life removes a lot of the stigma. Second Life cannot, of course, transmit the feeling of touch or pain. But the psychological element can be communicated in a very good manner – And the psychological element is as equally important in Real Life BDSM. Second Life also enables you to keep your anonymity as no one knows who you are, unless you choose to tell them.

You can even tell your friends to try it out, from the security of an armchair, to get a feeling about how arousing the psychological element can be. I’ve told a couple of my friends in Real Life to try BDSM in Second Life, and they are still doing BDSM online – One year later.

So maybe Second Life is the equalizer we need in order to show that we are into BDSM in Real Life – And who knows, the avatar you are spanking tonight might be, without your knowing it, your boss in daytime.