Once a month we have a discussion group on the Island of Pain in Second Life. This is a result of our ambition to push the learning experience within BDSM through knowledge sharing.

The question this time was: How to plan a good scene? (perparations etc.)

The question was more targeted towards dominants, but the discussion also revealed that some preparations can also be made on the submissive side.

The subject was interesting as it kept on for almost 2 hours, one of the longest discussion session we’ve had so far. It was also a subject that seemed less abstract to everyone, as we used training examples more than a couple of times.

How is preparations done on the dominant side of things?

  1. Take notes, that are derived from observations on your sub’s behaviour, likes/dislikes, level of servitude etc. This can and is often used as a foundation for training and punishment.
  2. Do a plan of what you want to train, some people divide that plan into smaller goals to get a better overview of the overall training progress.
  3. Some people create training sessions that are impossible to succeed with in order to create a space for improvement or punishment.
  4. Do not always reveal the purpose of the excercise – Some of the submissives in the discussion said that a big part of the emotional turn on was fact that they were kept in suspense by not knowing.
  5. Do always pick up the submissive through aftercare – And aftercare should always be planned. Scenes go wrong if no aftercare is carried out. This also applies to Second Life based BDSM as the mental element can be strong. In real life BDSM it s important with physical touch, closeness and sometimes simple medical treatment as a part of the aftercare.
  6. When the training session is done try to get the submissive to understand, on their own, what they have learnt or achieved.
  7. As preparation, always check the boundaries if you are not certain if you are going beyond hard limits or not. Boundaries tends to be fluid as the relation continues – Things that weren’t ok last week might be good today. Hard limits can also be dependant on mood as well.

We would like to thank everyone for attending the discussion and their contribution to it, this is how we learn and evolve.

See you all in next month’s discussion…