Ok, so here’s something slut thinks is a debatable subject…
Stress! from a subs point of view..
What do you think? When is it you get stressed and why? Is it a common thing? If you get stressed is there something wrong?
Thinking on a general basis here, slut thinks, and has some experience in the stress department, according to being a sub that is…
All be it, sometimes the punishments a sub goes for are provoking and welcomed… but on the other hand there are times when a sub is getting punished, has had a priviledge taken away or maybe is being prevented from doing something or going somewhere that the sub likes, on a serious basis do you find yourself getting more stressed and maybe getting yourself deeper into trouble then causing the punishment to double or triple..etc…
Stressing!? Slut thinks so at times… it’s damn frustrating then leading to stressiness..
Especially when the Dom/me is fucking with your head… saying one thing then another then totally confusing you to make sure you get something wrong or test your abilities in some way…can also lead to arguements but the whole way through the Dom/me being ALWAYS right never putting a foot wrong or saying anything wrong, even tho both sides clearly know what is happeneing is an escalating problem = test
Slut isn’t sure this will make total sense, but she also thinks if a sub has gotten into any of these situations they’ll relate to it in some way…
Maybe some of the sub’s could share a story or two as to how and why they’ve been stressed and how they deal with it, or if it never gets to be eased.
Slut can say there have been stressful situations not often but when they happen the typical answer is “it’s in my prerogative” which actually means “i’ll do what i want when i want no matter if it makes sense or not, you have to put up with it”
Slut likes to think she is quite a logical person so when being told something that doesn’t make sense or goes against things she has been taught like “you are thinking XYZ” when actually you aren’t but because the Dom/me says so, THATs IT!…. GRRR whats the point it’s almost like lying! and of course we subs have to take it and thats that! but omg it is infuriating which to slut sometimes leads to being a little stressed,
Hmmm slut has read back and tried to make this as clear as possible, maybe someone can add things in or ask a question then slut can maybe clear it up… 🙂
When i feel stressed:
when Master asks for contradictory things and is truly dis-satisfied with my best effort.
when Master reverses a requirement or says “oh – i didn’t mean THAT!”
when Master discusses her with others as if she isn’t there. when Master delays sessions… repeatedly.
when juggling assignments and daily rituals and work and family and friends means exhaustion.
when Master blows off an assignment in which care and time have been committed.
Please don’t get the wrong impression; very rare events. But they cause quiet grinding of teeth. They are NOT fun. They rarely increase my devotion. They don’t make me a better pet. And i don’t think they are fun for Master either.
Agreed, albeit the stressful situations aren’t often but when they happen they probably happen intensely…
Slut is sure we will all have similar experiences, being that we’re in the same areas, but figure sometimes it’s nice to get things off your chest..
Thank you for sharing Cloud 🙂
It is not a common thing for me to get stressed, at least not when relating to D/s, though Master can sometimes distract me and make it appear that I am ignoring other people and this causes me stress as I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, even though I know Master comes first.
As for “does it mean there is something wrong?”, if you mean by being stressed within the relationship I would say NO because being stressed just means that your limits are being stretched some, maybe if you felt stressed continually, then maybe you or anyone would need to consider their situation carefully (don’t feel this really applies to you cat).
I have recently been/currently am being punished for not getting permission before doing something I should have gotten permission for and part of my punishment was having the privilege of being allowed to voice in sl taken away from me, the rest of my punishment will come at a later date. At first I was very upset and felt guilty for having been bad and felt stressed and at first angry but as I am being good, it’s changed the way I feel about the punishment and instead of stressing me, it instead now makes me feel far more obedient and my desire to please my Master has increased.
In regards to the mind play (fucking with your head as you put it so nicely lol) I think this can have a serious place in a D/s relationship, as to me it reminds me of my place.
When your Dom asks you to do something, then makes other requests at the same time, they know that just doing the first task may make it harder for you to concentrate and therefore make it harder to follow other tasks, as well as you would in general.
Your Dom, when giving you tasks that they know are going to be virtually impossible for you to do, know that it will make you feel frustrated and possibly be stressful (as you want to please by obeying your Dom completely). This may well serve a purpose as it can aid the subs feeling of submissiveness (wanting so badly to please, yet being unable to). This may then heighten the subs subservience and should stand to remind them that it is not up to the sub to have control but that they have chosen to give that control up to their Dom.
The fact that a sub is a sub means they have chosen to obey their Dom, which means putting up with whatever way the Dom chooses to control the sub. Hopefully the sub learns something from each task given (even impossible ones, as if not currently obvious to the sub, they should consider that it may become obvious at a later date or the sub may not notice any change in themselves but the Dom may). This giving up of control means that one should try not to argue with their Dom over any tasks given unless of a serious nature, instead they should try to remain calm and obedient as is their place. If nothing else, what appears to be a frustrating and pointless task is sure going to be remembered with possible dislike by the sub and if any misbehaviour was the cause of it then that behaviour is less likely to be seen in the future.
Something I feel a Dom may get from seeing a sub attempt to carry out a difficult or impossible task, is that I can imagine the feeling of power, seeing how helpless the situation is, how very sexually thrilling it may be, seeing the submissive doing their best to please them knowing full well that it may be impossible. Imagines it is even better if the sub does not argue about the ridiculousness of the task and instead just continues to show obedience in attempting to do as required.
In regards to the XYZ if you were told that is what you are thinking, then even if that was not what you were originally thinking, then by the fact that you are thinking I am not thinking XYZ, then in fact you are actually now thinking XYZ. This means your Dom is now right lol if that makes any sense at all smiles at least that is how I see it lol. If XYZ is a scenario then your Dom telling you that is what you are thinking should in fact give you the hint to make that your current thought and too simply agree.
Well that is my thoughts on Stress and your comments smiles.
Warmest Wishes myangels Destiny xxx
I have nothing to add but Cat this is a great topic.. ..I’ve been there…