There are different people in our world and different levels of acceptance, but the most dangerous thing, in my opinion, is when people with their lack of knowledge try to make conclusions without even the slightest hint of investigation.

I got a whisper in my ear about this article written about Master and slave games in Second Life, and this is a good example of jumping to conclusions when it comes to what BDSM is about and the consequences of it. The article is written in Swedish, but there is a google translator further down.

The post is written by Kandinsky Beaumont, who is really annoyed by the amount of “Master & Slave games” in SL. My response to that it is quite strange as there is a bunch of places in SL that don’t do BDSM at all, why not go to them when the level of frustration gets too high?

The most interesting part in the post is when Kandinsky is making the conclusion that “Master & slave” games just fuels the trafficking industry and makes us more used to this type phenomena. This is a totally unfounded statement and is based on a great lack of knowledge. There are no scientific claims either that would support such a bold statement.

I have been in the lifestyle in real life for almost 10 years and for 2 years in Second Life. Let me start with the real life part and what I do there. I mind play, flog, whip, pull hair, bite lips, chain and push my submissives boundaries. Now comes the real question, does it turn me into a woman beater? If I would have been doing this without consent, then I would have been an abuser. If the submissive didn’t have the possibility to stop what I was doing, then I would be an abuser. None of these two things will happen when people are into BDSM and knows how to navigate it.

Even tho I flog, bite, whip, pull hair, bite lips, chain and push my submissives boundaries, it is still based on what we BOTH want as we communicate and have continuous boundaries discussion where both of us have an equal say; and yes can you believe it – Equality exists within BDSM. When we do a scene, then I am in charge as the dominant, but I only move within the established boundaries that we both have agreed upon. The key part here again is “what we both have agreed upon”, there are in other words something called consent within a BDSM relationship. Kandinsky has clearly just seen BDSM relationships from the outside without investigating the mechanics behind such a relationship.

Another thing is that the submissive also have a “stop button” during a scene, the use of a safeword. If safeword is uttered then all play stops and you start with the aftercare immediately, and Kandinsky; if you don’t know what aftercare is then read my other posts. The submissive has control even tho it doesn’t look like that from an outside perspective. A lot of thing within BDSM doesn’t even involve sexual activities

I love the submissives I get involved with, I care for them and I worry about them – And the relationship is based on trust. Does that sound different from relationships without BDSM? Probably not, and I have had both – relationships with BDSM as well as relationships without BDSM. One obvious difference between them is that the relationships with BDSM in them has a greater level of communication, as it is necessary.

So my question back to Kandinsky is: How can relationships based on love, care, trust and a good level of communication sanction trafficking and the trade with human slaves, who are usually forced to become prositutes? Why should I become more acceptant towards such a despicable thing – Why should anyone involved in what you, Kandinsky, categorise as “Master & slave” games become more acceptant? I would actually say the opposite, being within the lifestyle has made me respect and adore submissives even more. They are strong individuals and are highly appreciated by the dominants within the BDSM community.

Kandinsky writes in her post “What sort of people get a kick out of these Master and slave game, don’t we have enough of that crap in Real Life?”

I would like to rephrase that statement: Why replicate the same narrow minded opinions, which are usually based on a lack of knowledge, that exists in real life – Don’t we have enough of that crap already?

Kandinsky, you are welcome to live with me in Second Life or Real Life for a week or two, to get a more knowledgeable insight. Do you accept the offer?


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