Punishment might be an important part of your BDSM relationship and is something that can be used creatively, but how do you know when things have gone too far?
Last year I got that question from one of our readers which made me do a post about the subject, “A Question about punishment”.
The thing about punishment in BDSM is that it should feel like a punishment, the contradiction is that, looking at it from a larger perspective, it should still be a part of something that is enjoyable. The punishment itself might not be enjoyable, but the context in which it is delivered should always be.
This, to my opinion, one of the hardest things to deal with when you are new to BDSM and common questions are revolving around boundaries and have the courage to deal with punishments, both on the Dominant side of things as well as on the submissive side.
Luna KM, over at Submissive Guide, has done a really interesting video in which she talks about how to judge if punishment within in your BDSM might have gone too far and I think it is something everyone should look at, no matter if you are a Dominant or a submissive.
Source: Submissive Guide
I don't like punishment.
I only use positive reinforcement.
If I do something that my submissive doesn't like, it is for my pleasure, not for he displeasure.
If my submissive does something I don't approve of, I tell her.
Some submissives need a punishment to solve the psychological knots that might occur when they do something wrong, that's the driving force behind an punishment that is used for "reboot" the mind and thought loops.
Punishment is of course not for everyone, but it's not necessarily a bad thing to include punishment in a BDSM relationship, but as always – It depends on the limits that have been agreed upon.
Real punishment shuts me down. . I would rather die than be humiliated in any form, but I do enjoy voyeuristic surprises, and spanking, flogging etc.
I do also agree that for some people they have desires and needs I don't have or need to understand to appreciate.
in every day life we are punished for things we do wrong, the difference in our life choice is how we implement the punishment. Ignoring me doesnt work, I look it as quiet time, I find i require a more physical approach. The dominant whom I have chosen to serve knows my limitations and how far to go elsewise I would not have been serving Him. Myself i choose based on common principles and always on trust, knowing He would never harm His property/