Welcome to the Incomplete Submissive.

The intention of this column in the magazine is to use it as an outlet for my many thoughts, ideas and opinions, not just about BDSM and D/s relationships, but general life issues too.

My hope is that my musings might be helpful to someone reading them, especially to those of you who might be experiencing similar emotions and anxieties as I do.  I know you are out there, as I know I’m not alone thinking this way.  I hope you will join me on my journey and maybe share some of your thoughts and opinions too!

So what have I been feeling you ask?  Well the sort of things that burrow deep in your mind and generally make you feel uncomfortable, the ones that make you miserable and the sort that generally turn you into a moody bugger!  Things like – “I’m not good at this”, “I can’t do this”, “I can’t do anything right” and my favorite “I must be such a disappointment, why does he want me here with him?”.  There are many more but I’m sure you understand the theme by now.

Believe me it took me some time to realise that I’m not the only person in the world struggling with their submission, and I’m certainly not the only woman with a head full of negative thoughts!

Until I started regularly reading other submissives blogs, I thought I was the worst submissive ever.   I felt like an imposter.  I doubted myself all the time.  Why on earth had I made such a dramatic change in my life, not only was I living in a D/s relationship, but I had also moved to live in a different country too  What on earth was I thinking!  I must be mad!  Thankfully after many a discussion with my Master, together with plenty of research into other submissives journeys, I finally realized that what I had been going through was perfectly normal.  I was not alone!  This is all just part of the process.

It is a journey, one of self-reflection and self-development.  It’s hard at times, but I am happy to say that I don’t do it on my own.  My Master is my guide and mentor, he is always there when I need to talk.  He always seems to understand me and never judges me for thinking a certain way – he realises that I am my own worst critic, I do that well enough all by myself.

What he has helped me realise is that the goals I set for myself are maybe sometimes too high in my own search for what I think is perfection, which means that I will always fail and leave myself open to those negative thoughts.  He reminds me that he is the one to set those goals, and that he will be the one to point out if I fall short of them.

My motivation in this life is to strive for perfection, but I can only do this by accepting my own imperfections.