Collars are often used in a BDSM context and some people use it for random play, while others are looking at it for more serious reasons. To me its a symbol of the relationship that exists between the Dom and sub, so I guess that I use collars for a more serious reason.
To me it is important that the sub wear the collar as often as possible but that also comes with a problem. A lot of collars are quite revealing in their design – They definitely look BDSM with the leather and rivets as the most common design. This makes it hard to use a collar in an everyday situation without looking like a punk-rocker. The leather and rivets collar is of course very usable for humiliation play or public play as the sub has to hide the collar in order to not be revealed and embarrassed.
But there are other collars, pretty enough to be worn at all times as they are more designed as a jewelry with a contemporary design. Dane Gundersen provided me with a very nice link to a company that, in my opinion, does very beautiful collars.
Take a look at Eternity Collars
I agree, they’re very beautiful. Now I know what to wish for (birthday soon!) 😀
Hello, Greetings,
i happened upon this site through a comment left on another site. i must say that although i’m still trying to figure some things out here – i am VERY much enjoying the intellect and conversation that is transpiring. Thank You.
On the matter above – i wanted to give a thumbs up. i have a ringofsteel.net collar extremely similar to this. The artist’s name is Vad — He is an absolutely lovely Dominant Male. i hope that it is ok that i list the webpage that he has his handmade collars on. http://www.ringofsteel.net/productlist.html
My own collar is not locking – the magnets hold this extremely securily also. ‘Master’ had a tag made for me, one side was a very nice design, the other side (which faced my body, was inscribed with his ‘ownership’ and words to me. 🙂 Beautiful.
At first one that was too big was ordered for me — oh my it looked funny as my front collar bones made it poke up. Vad, the artist, sent me TWO new ones and i was to return to him the ones that don’t fit. THIS is trust my friends. Yes, of course i was prompt in returning the other two – with a nice note tucked inside.
Also at first – this felt heavy on my neck. i know that Vad has now made some beautiful collars that are aluminum so they’re much lighter. However i quickly got used to this and my neck felt naked without my collar.
i hope my comments helped in someway. 🙂 i can personally attest to the beauty of these collars – both from Vad and from what i see on Eternity Collars.
Thank You,
doni
I usually offer simple leather collars. Elegant, not too wide, of slim proportions. Feminine. No rivets. The Quintessential one.
I use different leashes. The chain leash for close contacts, and for various forays in submissive territory and the French hunting leash in round, supple leather cut in one single piece from a cow skin, the 50 feet(yes, fifty) standard for horse hunts.
A 17th century classic up to these days 😉
Not too thick, never hurts the skin, feels alive like a warm leather snake, can be used for bondage too…great for tits compression… a real leather lasso, that fits nicely into the holder’s hand. What is good for mastering and commanding a pack of two times five running dogs is good for guiding a lovely hot animal in trance on the path of primal space. Beyond language.
These Eternity collars are nice jewels.
I wish more artists, more craftsmen would offer us more variety, more quality, in the spirit of the Eternity collars.
[For instance : Hand made French corsets by two stylists:
http://www.sophielibertine.com/Corset_creation-5-3.html%5D
[disclaimer: I am in no way related to this business. It’s just a sample how how things should be. From eighteenth century replicas to contemporary creations.]
ps: there’s a “and” too much between “territory” and “the French”, on Line 4.
Moderator, could be so kind as to do me the favour to correct that mistake of mine?
Many thanks.
I am a professional career woman and my Dom was unable to find a suitable collar for my everyday wear, so we designed and made our own. It is a basic byzantine chain mail pattern with an extension piece that I can use to lengthen it. So, when I’m working, I wear it longer and it appears as a lovely necklace. When I’m not at work, I remove the extension. The clasp is a lovely little padlock toggle which is worn at the back of my neck during the day (covered by my hair) and worn in the front when I’m alone or with my Dom. If anyone is interested, I am happy to custom make a similar collar with padlock toggle clasp for you – pick your own materials for the chain. I’ll email you pics if you’d like. My address is jessrabbs at gmail dot com.
its a necklace…collars are instruments of control, why cant a spade be called a spade.
@itsjustahobby If a spade is just called a spade, then you apply a view based on realism when looking on the purpose of “just a spade”. But the meaning of an instrument is applied by the users of it and then you have to apply a relativistic view upon it. A spade can be used for a lot of things beyond the obvious purpose – In some occasion it even has a symbolic value.
A collar, which in a literal sense could be a rope as well as a chain, has conotations put there by each individual user of it and that’s also why the purpose if it is hidden from other people.
If a collar is an instrument of control is an interesting discussion, but for now it has the same level of control as a wedding ring has from an emotional perspective.
@Stoltz Sinatra @itsjustahobby Then why not wear a wedding ring, or call it a necklace you have been given by someone significant? I am sorry but to call it something it is clearly not is to pander to the worst dungeons and dragons aspects of BDSM.
@itsjustahobby If someone wants to wear a wedding ring, then that’s fine to. The definition of a collar doesn’t only refer to the object itself, it refers to the actions and meaning behind it as well.
Does a wedding ring have to look in a certain way or is that just a normative reflection of how things should be in order to be called something specific?
To me the definition of a collar refers more to the meaning of it rather than the appearence of it.
What differs a collar from a necklace according to your opinion?
@Stoltz Sinatra From OED “a leather or metal band or a chain, fastened around the neckof an animal, used especially as a means of restraint oridentification.m ”
If people want a visible reminder of their relationship they can wear daily, a la wedding rings or other symbolic piece of jewelry, then I would have no problem with that, but it clearly is not a collar. The jargon and mysticism of some practioners of BDSM , normally based on a misreading of the story of O and the desire to be a unique special snowfake does them, and those of us who value authenticity over ritual a great disservice. Calling a spade a spade matters when people look at a plow and think it is a spade.
@itsjustahobby I value the discussion around what a collar is, as it has a multitude of meanings to different people.
What purpose does a collar have to you and how does that purpose correlate to the physical appearences of a collar?
@Stoltz Sinatra A collar is one of the means my Master has to physically restrain me, he is currently looking at immobilization collars. I accept they have been given a meaning beyond this, however by separating itself from the world at largea nd calling things by names which resemble jargon, the BDSM community, and those who practice BDSM make themselves unapproachable, and in many cases a laughing stock. Thousands of people in many different cultural settings wear objects that signifies something significant. Yesterday I spent the day at a Franciscan monastery, the robes they wear, and their knotted belts signify something to them , and are recognizable to the world at large. BDSM can learn from this.
If someone is wearing a leather collar, pretty tame in these days of Abby from NCIS then they are wearing a collar, if they are wearing a necklace, they are wearing a necklace, no matter what symbolc meaning it carried for them.
@itsjustahobby Strict definitions are as you mention yourself, dependant of contextual variables which is also the case when it comes to BDSM.
BDSM is just an umbrella term, so those who practice BDSM are not a unified coherent bunch of individuals in any way. To be more specific, BDSM is just a term that signifies some kind of power echange.
Power exchange itself leaves a lot of room for interpretations to how the power exchange manifests itself. This means that there are also bundle of people that want to use everything from ritualised behaviour which includes wearing a collar, during a couple of hours, to a fulltime PE.
The collar has to a lot of submissives a mental restraint aspect connected to it, while for others it is the physical feeling of it that is of importance. Everyone has their own conotations connected to the collar and the BDSM community has a lot of room for different interpretations and should have so.
Because if we don’t allow everyone to put their own values into things, then we become unapproachable to anyone that is coming in as a new practitioner.
There is also a big difference between being a monk, who is in most cases socially accepted, and being an avid BDSM practitioner who is still not always socially accepted. There are, due to this, a lot of BDSM practitioners that want to have the feeling of a collar without coming out of the closet to the general public.
My personal preference, when it comes to what a collar is. isn’t a chain link with a gem, that isn’t a collar to me. But the eternity collars which are mentioned in this post are. I’ve had a submissive of mine wear one of these fulltime and she got questions even if it looks more on the neutral side of things.
In other words, there are not a specific definition within the BDSM community what a collar should look like and that’s why I think there is room for more loose definitions and looks.
There are of course also room for a discussion around the definition of a collar and that is why I find this discussion interesting as well as enjoyable.
Decently priced collar