Femdom is a large part of BDSM and it allows you to turn the traditional gender roles upside down, but femdom is sometimes affected too much by porn. Personally, I have nothing against porn, Very often I even advocate porn, but strange things happen when porn meets femdom.
In femdom the female has the power and she is usually using the greatest weakness within the male, his horniness and extreme need to get laid. Sure, the typical male is in a femodom oriented context based on a gender stereotype in itself, but it’s not the sole purpose of femdom to exclude all forms of traditional gender stereotypes. It is foremost about strengthening a gender stereotype in order to be able to change another.
The male desperately wants to fuck the female, while she is gaining strength and power by exploiting his urges.
My generalization of femdom might provoke some of you who read this but then I have to point out that I am fully aware of the fact that there obviously are many variations of femdom and that my generalization is intended to highlight the flavor of femdom often found in pornography.
When femdom is moving into pornography, then it all falls back into the same gender stereotypes as before. The female is powerful and the male is weak and desperate due to his urges, but in porn there’s slight difference. The male is usually given satisfaction, by the female dominant, through a long-awaited orgasm. He is given a handjob and sometimes he even gets a good and sturdy blowjob.
Then there is the important question, is it really femdom if the male has his way through his satisfaction?
The answer to that question is that it is rather an interpretation of femdom through the looking glass of pornography. A male slave will, when femdom takes place in reality, be left without the right to an orgasm for a very long time if his Mistress decides to do so.
BDSM porn is, as all porn, made for consumption and it is based on a fantasy. Reality might hit you hard if you’re a rookie male submissive who has bought into the way femdom is portrayed through BDSM porn. It seems like a lot of new male submissives have bought the whole porn package and it causes a lot of frustration among experienced, as well as newly arrived, Dommes who are often requested to perform different kinds of services. The common denominator for all these services is they include some kind of “happy ending” or ferocious fucking.
If you are reading this as an aspiring male submissive with you target set on approaching a Domme then you need to remember a couple of things.
Treat your future Domme with respect and keep in mind that she isn’t a menu which you can order from according to your own personal preferences. She has to respect your limits, but everything beyond that is fair game.
How you should be treated is always based on her choice and nothing else.
Sometimes you stumble across what I call realistic BDSM porn which means that it doesn’t include the mandatory fucking or blowjob scene. It reflects more how things are done in reality.
It’s hard, it’s brutal and it’s intense. That is what BDSM sometimes is in reality.