As the BDSM journey progress deeper and deeper in pushing boundaries and endurment for the Sub something new enters the stage – the importance to remember that they safe words are there for both the Sub and the Dom.

Not only in the sense that the safe word is a safety for the Sub to stop and the Dom to know that he/she can progress as the Sub can give word when the limit is reached. But ALSO in the sense that the Dom can use the safe words when he/she feels that the strain from control and dominance takes it toll and the Dom needs to stop and sort the thoughts and impressions in the session or needs to gather energy or even will to progress. Playing/leading/controlling someone submissive to you but also dear to you can sometimes become a bit too much when you are deep within the mind and there can be a need for you as a Dom to say stop.

There is also a point to be made about the importance of breaking down not only the impressions and reactions for the Sub during a session but to also do so for the Dom. Breaking a submissive’s will and crossing boundaries within a BDSM context can be just as mind blowing and startling for the Dom as for the Sub and there is just as a big importance of a stable mind with the Dom as there is with the Sub.
So if one forgets to pick up the reactions of the Dom after a hard and bound breaking session one can end up with a after effect that can push progression back since the Dom are unsure of his/hers ability to stand though through the sometimes scary reactions with the Sub during a deep and though session.

So keep in mind that being a Dom is not to hard as stone, it is to read the mind of others and then you must be able to read your own. The Dom Sub relationship is a partnership were both are equally responsible for each other.



DeSade Magazine covers BDSM from the inside. It is an online magazine created and crafted by experienced BDSM practitioners for anyone who is interested in personal stories, techniques, how-to’s and everything surrounding BDSM around the world.


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