An interesting article over at the Daily Texan caught my eye today – Hump Day: BDSM gatherings alter perspective on whips, chains. It’s an interesting read which gives a sort of insight into how it might feel when you are new to the world of BDSM. Who doesn’t remember the excitement and a bit of fear when going to the first munch?
Going to a munch also means that you are outing yourself to the scene crowd, your secret is out and your kink is known to people that you don’t know and have no control over. Will they tell someone about my dark fantasies, will I meet someone of them at my workplace? Those were questions running through my head when I decided to go to scene parties. In retrospect I can only say – No worries. There is a silent agreement among people enjoying the BDSM scene, an agreement that is quite similar to famous one about Las Vegas: What happens in the scene stays in the scene.
You keep quiet about kink of others if you meet them in a context outside of the scene – And most kinksters stick to that agreement because it can backfire on themselves.
What worries me a little bit is when media is trying to get an insight, then there are always people trying to explain that they are perfectly normal in their upbringing, no traumas etc.
Why is that, why are we trying to excuse ourselves?
I’m sure that there are some people that are subjected to life altering traumas that might make them turn to BDSM for one reason or the other. But I am more convinced that most people that are into BDSM are doing it because they are just wired that way. I am sure that to most of us there are no specific events that make us turn towards BDSM for therapeutic reasons and so forth.
We are just doing our thing because it is such an integral part of our sexuality.
I believe that you are into BDSM, then you have to have a strong psychological foundation to rely on – Otherwise you wouldn’t and shouldn’t do it.